Part 19: Update XVII - Buddy, They Don't Even Let Me Have Proof.
Update XVII - Buddy, They Don't Even Let Me Have Proof.
♪ BGM: Nolkrinite - Headquarters ♫
So, last time, we seem to have found some sort of secret passage. Let's check it out.
It appears to lead into yet another world.
You sure you want to go down there?Sure!
♪ BGM: King's Man ♫
Uh, what?
It is told in ages past Erdrick fought demons with a ball of light. Then came the Dragonlord who stole the precious globe and hid it in the darkness. Now, Erdrick, thou must help us recover the Ball of Light and restore peace to our land. The Dragonlord must be defeated. Take now whatever thou might find in these treasure chests to aid thee in thy quest. Then speak with the guards, for they have much knowledge that may aid thee. May the light shine upon thee, Erdrick.Alright, so we seem to have actually just gone straight into Dragon Quest.
We get a magic key. Wonderful.
Speaking to the king again lets us return to where we came from, but we have shit to do here first.
Now, I'm not going to copy all of this dialogue here. Instead, I'll just give you the highlights and sum things up. In here, guards tell us of a princess Gwaelin that has been kidnapped and that the key we got is a single use item that unlocks a door. So we need to use the key we just got to get out of this room. OK then.
So here we are in the main area. Here's a line:
When entering the cave, take with thee a torch. Ah, but thee are not a hero but a baseball player so perhaps it is not necessary.Other stuff includes: The Dragonlord is apparently a bad guy, keys open doors, grind to get stronger. Fun. Let's head out!
♪ BGM: Nubori Bay ♫
Now, the overworld here is essentially the same as in Dragon Quest I, with the exception that there's a part at the bottom missing.
The cut is quite abrupt, actually.
Anyway, there's something right over there, so let's check that town out.
♪ BGM: Inn ♫
Here we are in Brecconary. Is there anything we need to do here? Is there fuck. Have some conversations:
We deal in weapons and armor. Dost thou wish to buy anything today?
Yes. But you're a pitcher, you can't equip any of these items. Aw, man, that's depressing. Watch thy Hit Points when in the poisonous marsh. How many times do I have to tell you people? I don't have Hit Points. Then have fun in the poisonous swamps. Welcome to the traveler's Inn. Room and board is 6 GP per night. Dost thou want a room? Why would I want to stay the night? I need to get whatever done here and go home before the game starts. Please get out of my establishment. Welcome to the item shop. How-- Look, I don't want to buy anything. I don't even know why I'm here. You're the descendent of-- Yeah, that doesn't tell me anything. I will free thee of thy curse. I play for New York, not Chicago. Oh, I apologize.Pfft.
TheMcD's Baseball Stuff posted:
Now, let's talk about the Curse of the Billy Goat. The story goes that William Sianis, owner of the Billy Goat Tavern, went to see the Chicago Cubs during Game 4 of the 1945 World Series at Wrigley Field. He also brought along his pet goat, Murphy. He did pay for two seats - one for himself and one for the goat. However, Sianis and his goat would find themselves ejected from the game due to the goat's odor bothering other fans. Then, depending on how the story is told, Sianis either vowed that the Cubs wouldn't win any more as he was being ejected, or he sent a telegram to the team owner proclaiming that the team would lose this World Series and never win another again because he insulted his goat.
Regardless of what exactly happened, the Cubs would indeed lose the 1945 World Series, and would not win one for a very long time. There's three particular incidents that stand out to me in the curse's duration:
- The Black Cat Game: This took place in 1969 late in the regular season. The Cubs were playing the New York Mets in a series that had strong playoff implications. During that game, a black cat wandered onto the field and took a moment out to stop in front of the Cubs' dugout to just stare at the players for a bit. The Mets would win the series of games and eventually pull ahead to win the division, leaving the Cubs outside of the playoffs that year.
- The Steve Bartman Incident: The Cubs found themselves in the National League Championship Series in 2003 against the Florida Marlins. They were in the eighth inning of Game 6, up 3-2 in the series and up 3-0 in the game, five outs away from punching their ticket to the World Series. Luis Castillo was at bat for the Marlins and popped up into foul territory, heading for the front seats. Cubs left fielder Moises Alou went in to catch it and record an out, but Cubs fan Steve Bartman would also attempt to catch the ball. Bartman failed, and in the process deflected the ball away from Alou's glove, meaning nobody caught it. The play probably should've been called spectator interference and the batter should've been called out, but that was not the case. Instead, the at bat continued, and the Marlins would go on to score eight runs in that inning, win the game, and eventually the series.
- The Back To The Future Postseason: In Back To The Future II, the movie's version of 2015 had the Cubs winning the World Series by sweeping a team from Miami. So, when the Cubs made their way into the playoffs in 2015, the references were aplenty. However, these Cubs would crash out of the playoffs by getting swept by the Mets in the NLCS.
However, the above joke would age very poorly, as the Cubs would actually go on to win the World Series at the very next opportunity after this game was released, defeating the Cleveland Indians in 2016.
In other news, Dragonlord is a jerk, apparently we can buy magic keys somewhere, and people want proof we're a descendant of Erdrick.
Also, here we have a shop where we can buy an item to prevent random encounters, because yes, since we're in Dragon Quest now, there are random encounters! However, we have no money to buy it with.
♪ BGM: Nubori Bay ♫
So, let's head out and get some cash.
♪ BGM: Chemmel Raid ♫
The only enemy we have in the random encounters are slimes. And it is here that I found out something fun: The knuckle-curve is unhittable. Like, literally. You can throw it three times straight, it'll be three strikes and you're done. This makes pitching battles significantly easier, as you might imagine. As does the item to prevent random encounters I bought with the cash the battle gave me.
♪ BGM: Nubori Bay ♫
Next, we find a village in the top left of the map.
♪ BGM: Inn ♫
Welcome to Garinham. Is there anything interesting here? Not really. Have some lines.
Welcome. We deal in tools. What can I do for thee? Everyone wants to sell me tools... You know what? You're a tool. I will be waiting for thy next visit.In other news: Somebody is looking for somebody called Nester. The princess got taken eastward. That's about it. Woot.
♪ BGM: Nubori Bay ♫
There's also a village in the top right.
♪ BGM: Inn ♫
Welcome to Kol. Apparently, there's a golem that is afraid of flute music. Also, if we're looking for the flute, we should check "where it was the last time", and it seems like Howard had it, but he went to Rimuldar and never returned. Rimuldar is also the place to buy keys. There's apparently a town in the south where great weapons are sold, but it was cut for time purposes, and people are still giving us shit about proof. Fun.
♪ BGM: Nubori Bay ♫
Our next destination is the cave here.
♪ BGM: Dungeon ♫
There's a dragon here!
I've been asking myself that all day.
You're some kind of baseball pitcher. Exactly! That's what I've been telling everyone! That said, I still think I'm supposed to fight you and rescue the princess you are keeping hostage. That's ridiculous! I'm not going to fight you! What would that even look like? It really hasn't been a problem so far, I just pitch to everything. Well, I won't go along with it. I'm a dragon and I'm supposed to wait here for the hero. Well, damn it. I really thought this was what I had to do. Sorry, bro.Dang.
♪ BGM: Nubori Bay ♫
There's a village past the cave in the south, but when we get close to it, trouble shows up.
Wait, what? Here?
♪ BGM: Chemmel Raid ♫
And, well...
Erdrick throws a knuckle-curve!
The golem demolishes the pitch! It hammers it all the way back to Tatangel! Going... Going... It's outta here!
Erdrick gave up a home run! Erdrick is defeated!
♪ BGM: Nubori Bay ♫
Thankfully, losing here just drops us back to the map instead of giving us a game over. So, now, we backtrack.
♪ BGM: Inn ♫
Back in Kol, we find the flute we're looking for right at this spot. I figure that's where it was in Dragon Quest too. There seems to be no hint towards where the flute is if you don't know this (or can just look into RPG Maker), which is kinda rough. And let's face it, this entire area is rough. The game shines through its witty dialogue and crazy situations, and this is basically just a straight copy of Dragon Quest with some jokes thrown in, which just doesn't play to the game's strenghts.
♪ BGM: Chemmel Raid ♫
We play the flute in front of the golem, and that's that, we get to move on to the village.
♪ BGM: Inn ♫
And here we are in Rimuldar. What do people have to say here?
Art thou the descendent of Erdrick? Hast thou any proof? Everyone keeps asking for proof. Buddy, they don't even let me have proof.Pfft.
In other news, we're apparently going to find the Stones of Sunlight somewhere in Tatangel and we should wait for DLC so we can find the magic temple to the south. Alrighty.
Finally, we can buy keys here, and we buy a lot.
Past one of those doors, we find Howard, who tells us that four steps down from the bath in Kol we'll find the flute. Of course, in order to have him tell us that, we have to already have gotten past the golem. Also, we find a chest with 100 gold in it behind two doors. Meaning we paid 106 gold to get 100 gold. Awesome.
Now, we head back to other towns and see what lurks behind the doors there. Kol has nothing interesting. Garinham has nothing interesting either, really. Brecconary has no doors in the first place. Isn't this just a grand old adventure?
In Tatangel, we get access to some chests which contain less gold than it cost us to buy the key, access to a shop in which we can buy keys for a larger price than in the other village...
...we get told this clue after passing over a damaging floor that does massive damage (but not to us, since we don't have hit points), except the hint is a complete red herring, since we cannot access the grave because any tiles that would allow us to access the grave just throw us on the map again, and even IF we would be able to access the stairs that lead to the grave, we'd be told it's closed for remodeling.
And finally, the path to this staircase opens up.
Inside, we find the aforementioned stones. I have no idea what these are for.
See?
♪ BGM: Nubori Bay ♫
Anyway, what we're really looking for is this cave in the north.
♪ BGM: Dungeon ♫
We get to go through two floors of trivial mazes to find...
...the proof.
The tablet reads as follows: I am Erdrick and thou art the person who entered the temple in the other world using my name. Three items were needed to reach the Isle of Dragons, which is south of Brecconary. I gathered these items, reached the island, and there defeated a creature of great evil. Now I have entrusted the three items to three worthy keepers. Thou don't need to worry about that, however. Just rescue the princess. Someone else shall save the kingdom. This tablet shall prove thy worthiness to face the dragon in the swamp.
Alright, let's head right there.
I have this tablet, written by Erdrick himself, that tells me to fight you. Well, shit, I guess we have to do this.
♪ BGM: Chemmel Raid ♫
And so we get the big fight with the dragon... who of course also goes down on three straight knuckle-curves.
♪ BGM: Dungeon ♫
And with the dragon gone, we can go rescue the pri- ...hang on a second.
I am Gwaelin, daughter of Lorik. No you're not, you are 2000s journeyman starting pitcher Josh Fogg. You're an observant lad! But there is no time for such things. You are here for a reason. I...I am?
♪ BGM: The Entrance ♫
Uh... Who did? Everyone! Or at least the media. Back in 2007 after I beat both Brandon Webb and Curt Schilling in the playoffs. Google it! I'm not making this up! Sure you're not, Josh Fogg... Listen, there was another reason I had that nickname. Because I could throw a legendary unhittable pitch that I called the Dragon Slayer. Then why were you a terrible pitcher? Hey! the mid—2000s were a different time! Offense was crazy then, and I was a useful back-of—the-rotation starter for several years. But if you could throw this "Dragon Slayer", why weren't you more than that? The Dragon Slayer can only be thrown against a supernatural, cosmic entity. Try and throw it against a human and you'll just slip up and throw a ball. This sounds completely made up. Then again, this is hardly the strangest concept I've had to accept lately. By defeating the Green Dragon, you have earned the right to learn the Dragon Slayer pitch... May you throw it in good health.Erdrick has learned the [Dragon Slayer]!
But, ideally, I'll never have to throw it at all, right? Because that would mean I'm pitching against a "cosmic entity." Yeah, that's generally not a good situation to find yourself in. Good luck, Erdrick! Slay the dragons I never could!TheMcD's Baseball Stuff posted:
This is the point where I'd tell you more about Josh Fogg's career, but his notability really did begin and end with the Dragon Slayer moniker. To note, he didn't beat Webb or Schilling in the playoffs, it was in the regular season. Fun fact: Fogg beat another pitcher we know quite well now in that 2007 season - Mike Mussina.
♪ BGM: Nolkrinite - Headquarters ♫
I think I learned a new kind of pitch. But who knows what I could use it for?
#Pitching, of course! WHAT ARE YOU A FUCKING IDIOT? DO YOU HAVE A SKULL FULL OF RATS INSTEAD OF BRAINS? #RATSFORBRAINS My my my... I apologize for the #trolls. No, it's complicated... I can't even begin to explain what just happened. Well, let's get back to what we were doing before you decided to go into that staircase.And there we go. That's the Dragon Quest segment. A whole bunch of meh culminating in us picking up Chekhov's rocket launcher. Next time, Bobson returns, and we head back to The Machine's mansion to progress the plot. Things will get significantly better again.